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For the first time in my life when I met you. I believed the promises that were made between us. I believed there would be a forever for you and I. I believed the words you whispered in my ears. You made me feel wanted. And for the first time I knew what it was like to be desired as a woman. When you looked at me with eyes of love I felt cherished. When you placed your heart in my two hands I was aware of the beating treasure entrusted to my care. Then came a day when you stopped whispering altogether. I strained to hear the echoes of your inexistent words. When you averted your eyes my heart knew it was over. When you said lets just be friends once again I was lonely and abandoned. Perhaps if I knew what I had done wrong in this relationship. I wouldn't be in such a perilous state. The only crime I did wrong was to be human and fall in love with a man too good to be true. I have sworn never again to believe or to hope because for every smile that love accords it demands two tears back as payment. Welcome to My World Warning: Disturbing Come with me and lets walk together through a place I'll call My Madness. Not the madness of Othello or Hamlet. But my madness, my moments of insanity, my madness Come step with me into this body of mine. Let's peel away every layer like an onion. One layer at a time. Strip my psyche naked. Leave nothing of me uncovered. Steal my eyes, the windows to my soul, and all that lies buried within their depths. I can't bear to be misjudged or uncover anymore lies and secrets from my past. I don't want anymore surprises or heartbreaks. Take my beating heart out of my chest. Let me no more in agony breathe. Cast stones at my soul as you have my character. I look upward at the changing skies. The moon no longer casts its spell for me. I watch my hatred grow like burning embers. My fellowship with death increases every day. My happiness is a thing of the past. I have no hope or joy within. There have been occasions in my life where life held promise of a brighter tomorrow. But they have all been snatched away and I've forgotten them like yesterdays news. I don't have the strength for today to even stand upright and spit my adversary's fear and doubt in the face. I can't stand alone today but maybe tomorrow. Hold me close to your chest and rock me like a child. Let me once more believe that goodness triumphs. You can turn and walk away but my madness clings to me both night and day. Circumstances, judgmental people nor time will never let me turn around. While I still can I want to tell you everything. I want to pour this out of my soul like the venom of a snake. Maybe there are magic words to chase away this madness Soothe me once more like I would soothe my children. My madness came not from too many words spoken. But rather my madness came from the past cloaked with the silence of deceit. Looking At You I look into your eyes and I see the man that you really are. Everytime I gaze into your eyes I meet another part of you. I once caught a glimpse of the little boy you were. Then the teen that became a man. The man that I adore. I get lost within your eyes. I wrap myself in your love. I feed from your strength. Each time I hear your whispers, I fall in love again. I want to grow old by your side. I want to spend eternity with you. |
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